


I'm worried

by who_seeks_shall_find



Series: Life as I see it [87]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Broken Promises, F/M, Late Night Conversations, Love, Marriage, Promises, post-seaosn 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-06-24 08:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_seeks_shall_find/pseuds/who_seeks_shall_find
Summary: Felicity and Oliver have a lot to talk about. It's time for a late-night conversation.





	I'm worried

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a series about Oliver's imprisonment and a year after it. This drabble takes place after Oliver's imprisonment. He has been out of prison for 68 days.
> 
> The series will be updated once a day (if it's just possible). It's going to include 122 drabbles about Oliver, Felicity, William and other characters who are involved in their lives. It's going to take approximately four months to finish the series. The drabbles are linked to each other but they're NOT in a CHRONOLOGICAL order. That's why, there may also be gaps or blanks which are filled in later.
> 
> I wish that every character is respected without unnecessary hatred.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Oliver and Felicity were laying on their bed. It was late and the lights were off. They weren’t touching each other and they both were deep in their own thoughts. Things had finally gotten a bit better but they still had a lot figuring out to do. They were working through the hard times and letting it all out had been a step along the way. When the bottled-up feelings had been brought up, it was time to talk about them.

Felicity stared at the ceiling and she thought about everything. She thought about how hard it had been when Oliver had been in prison. She thought about how William had started acting more normally around Oliver. The unnecessary politeness was gone and Felicity was grateful for it. They had walked on eggshells for too long. Felicity, herself, was also starting to get used to Oliver being around. 

First, it had been weird to find Oliver in their kitchen in mornings making coffee and scrambling eggs. Her heart had clenched painfully every time because she couldn’t believe it was true. She had assumed that her heart would have be filled in with joy every time she saw him but it was actually painful. 

It reminded her of everything that could be taken away from them. From her. It was hard to trust Oliver not to make another stupid or irresponsible choice without consulting her or William. She had to learn to trust Oliver to stick around.

Oliver turned to look at her and Felicity could feel his eyes on her face. First, she didn’t turn to look at him but after a while she turned her head slightly. Although it was dark, Felicity could see Oliver’s beautiful blue eyes which looked at her pleadingly. Felicity raised her hand and touched his cheek bone with her fingertips.

She whispered: “Hey.”

“Hey, you,” Oliver whispered back. Then he continued: “What are thinking about? You look worried and far away.”

Felicity gave him a small smile which didn’t reach her eyes. She responded: “I’m thinking about us.”

“Us?” Oliver asked worriedly and he frowned a little.

“Yeah,” Felicity simply confirmed and tangled her fingers with Oliver’s fingers.

“What about us?” he asked cautiously.

Felicity didn’t know how to explain her fears to Oliver but she needed to try. Yet, she didn’t know how to start so she blurted out: “What keeps you from making another irresponsible choice?”

Oliver froze and Felicity held her breath. She hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that but she needed to know. She needed to know how she could learn to trust her husband again. It wasn’t like she didn’t trust him with her life but now she couldn’t trust him with her heart.

Oliver gulped audibly before he stammered: “I don’t know.”

“That’s not good enough,” Felicity said and she could feel her anger building up although she wasn’t exactly sure what she was angry about. There were so many things bothering her.

Oliver looked lost and Felicity sighed. She tried to find a bit softer tone before she continued: “I need to know that you’re going to be here. I need to learn how to trust you staying here with me and William – no matter what.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Never again. Those months in prison were killing me. I was torn apart and I just wanted to come back to you two,” Oliver said with conviction and he pulled Felicity closer to his body.

Felicity allowed him to do that. She had always loved their physical connection and how easy it was. She also wanted to believe him but it was hard. She pressed her palm against his cheek and her other hand his nape. Oliver’s arms circled her as he wrapped his arms around Felicity’s waist. They were facing each other and they just looked at one another in silence for a while.

Felicity broke the silence. She whispered: “What were you thinking of? You also seemed a bit far away earlier.”

Oliver smiled at her softly. He answered: “I was thinking of William.”

Felicity nodded for encouragement and Oliver continued: “I talked with William tonight. Now that everything is out in the open after our fight, I needed to know more about his fights in school.”

Felicity tensed when Oliver mentioned William’s fights. She was feeling responsible for them because mostly William had been protecting her. William seemed to hate it when someone disrespected Felicity, Oliver or someone close to him. Felicity sighed and he couldn’t help but think of the phrase “like father, like son”.

Felicity pushed her own guilt aside and she asked: “What about William’s school fights?”

“I was just worried because fighting isn’t characteristic for him. We talked about making decisions and responsibility. We talked about love,” Oliver answered and he was deep in his own thoughts as he tried to recall his conversation with William.

Felicity ran her fingers through Oliver’s hair. Then she whispered: “What did you say about fighting?”

Felicity hadn’t been worried about William becoming violent but she was worried about him. William was a young boy who bottled up his feelings from time to time and those fights were indication of that. He had been through so much and sometimes Felicity had been scared of him harming himself. He felt deeply and he didn’t want to let anyone down. Yet, he didn’t always know how to let it all out. 

Oliver answered: “I said that he should always find another way although I felt the biggest hypocrite in the world.”

“No, no, no, Oliver. You’re not a hypocrite. You know more about fighting than anyone else. That’s why, you also have every right to talk about finding another way. You know better than anyone how fighting affects you and everyone close to you,” Felicity said and stroked his cheek.

“You think so?” Oliver asked cautiously.

Felicity shook her head vigorously and she corrected him: “I don’t think so. I know so.”

Oliver gave her a tight smile and he went on: “Do you think William wants to make right his father’s wrongs? Do you think he wants to put a mask on?”

“I don’t know,” Felicity said honestly.

Then she continued: “I’m kind of scared of it.”

“Me too. I’m not ready to sacrifice him for this city. Not yet. Maybe not ever,” Oliver admitted and they held each other even tighter. 

“I don’t know why I’m so worried about it,” Felicity mumbled against Oliver’s shoulder.

Oliver nodded and he said: “We are his parents and he’s our boy. Our fears don’t have to be rational. He’s just thirteen years old but he’s growing up so fast. He’s more mature than most thirteen-year-old boys.”

Felicity snuggled closer to Oliver and started drawing small circle on his bicep. She whispered: “I’m not worried about him being a vigilante but I’m worried about him getting hurt. It’s inevitable if he wants to fight for the city. Besides, I think his fights have been an indication.”

“Indication of what?” Oliver asked worriedly.

Felicity kept drawing small circles on Oliver’s biceps as she answered: “Indication of him burying his feelings. When he doesn’t deal with them, they’ll resurface later. Then he feels like he is losing control when those feelings do resurface. It can be suffocating.”

“Has he told you all that?” Oliver asked and he sounded surprised.

“No, he hasn’t. I’ve reasoned it out and I’ve had a perfect case study before him,” Felicity answered while she tried to hide her smile. 

“Are you talking about me, Ms. Smoak?” Oliver asked playfully. 

“Maybe, Mr. Queen,” Felicity answered and she poked his bicep.

Then she became more serious again. She stated in a sad voice: “If William wants to follow your footsteps, he’s entitled to do so. I just want it to happen for the right reasons. He needs to understand the risks. He needs to follow the rules.”

“You’re right,” Oliver said quietly and Felicity let out a content hum.

“You know that’s music for my ears,” she purred. Oliver rolled his eyes but he pressed a small kiss on the tip of Felicity’s nose. 

Felicity closed her eyes and enjoyed their closeness while he whispered: “So many times my own hatred has tried to beat me. I have been angry and irresponsible. I have been stupid and furious. Yet, love has always won. Affection has always won. There has always been something that I have held dearer than my own wrath.”

Felicity put some space between them and she looked at him with a questioning expression. Oliver shrugged and he explained: “I think that’s kind of an answer for your worries about me sticking around. I love you and William more than anything. I do stupid things that I regret afterwards but I’ll never forget what is the most important thing in my life. My love for you will always lead me back to you although I hope we won’t be apart ever again.”

It wasn’t exactly the promise what Felicity had been looking for. Nevertheless, deep down she knew she would learn to trust Oliver again. Oliver pulled Felicity against his chest and they just kept laying there, listening to each other’s heartbeats.

**Author's Note:**

> Update for tomorrow:  
> William asks his dad if he wants to give his mantle to his son. Oliver doesn't know what to answer.


End file.
